\u00c9tude in Radial Colors<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

not sleeping \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0under this window,<\/p>\n

as trees outside \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0peek through lantern light<\/p>\n

and bamboo slats.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

the blind\u2019s bunched\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 strings illume. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0sleeping troubles<\/p>\n

me most, because\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I suspect<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have not met \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0the right doctor. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0yet, the trouble<\/p>\n

with thinking at night\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 about the day \u00a0 \u00a0 I thought<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I would never sleep\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 again\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 how it felt<\/p>\n

how it feels\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (a living still-life)\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0like now.<\/p>\n

I am afraid and say so.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

because I cannot remember every body\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0and every<\/p>\n

thing I have known, \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0and done,<\/p>\n

nor what they have done to me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and mine, \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0my mind is likely to twist \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0one<\/p>\n

thing into another,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 twine so\u2014 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0sound sews<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

in two syllables\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0the way I\u2019ve imagined \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0a knot\u2014<\/p>\n

tonight,<\/p>\n

trouble sneaks in,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 asks me<\/p>\n

what if <\/em><\/p>\n

Ben didn\u2019t hang himself <\/em><\/p>\n

from a tree?<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 the blind\u2019s bunched strings<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

illume. because negation \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0is a rope \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I can hang myself with,<\/p>\n

I have trouble \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0with my body. with nights. \u00a0 \u00a0 Self, inside this<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

refrain of proper \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0nouns, I think I might be \u00a0 \u00a0 as troubling as Ben<\/p>\n

who\u2019s passed himself \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0and passed\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Past\u2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*previous version of this poem published in Ellipsis<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00c9tude in Radial Colors   not sleeping \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0under this window, as trees outside \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0peek through lantern light and bamboo slats.   the blind\u2019s bunched\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 strings illume. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0sleeping troubles me most, because\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I suspect   I have not met \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0the right doctor. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0yet, the trouble with thinking at night\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 about the day \u00a0 \u00a0 … Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/397"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=397"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/397\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":498,"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/397\/revisions\/498"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shainamonet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}